


To be weak

by ImmortalAcorn



Series: Memories of Draco Malfoy [15]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Auror Harry Potter, Drabble, M/M, Memories, POV First Person, Post-Hogwarts, Secret Relationship, Slice of Life, Snippets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 13:10:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16096343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalAcorn/pseuds/ImmortalAcorn
Summary: ‘Where have you been?’ he asked.‘I do have a life. I like to go outside the house.’‘I was worried,’ he said.I would not cave.But everything smelled like him. Intoxicating.I couldn’t breathe.‘You can come tonight if you want,’ I said and left.I hoped he wouldn’t.I hoped he would.





	To be weak

For the first time in months I made an actual effort to end it.

It was hard. Few days without and I was agitated.

But I was also determined.

I was staying at Pansy’s under the pretence of house renovation. She definitely didn’t believe me.

It was freeing. Not seeing him. Not knowing if he came to my door.

I was calm.

I was free.

At least for a week. That’s exactly how long my determination lasted.

  
***

 

I wanted to sink down to the ground. To be invisible.

As I was going to my monthly visit at the Ministry, he was there, in the hallway.

He paused and looked at me. Then started walking again.

I was sitting in the chair only half listening to the ministry official.

As I walked out of the door, he was there yet again, standing next to his office.

Fuck.

I looked down and continued on my way.

‘Malfoy,’ I heard him say, ‘Can you come here for a moment?’

‘Why?’ I asked and looked at him.

‘I just want to talk about something.’

‘No, sorry. I’m busy.’ I made to stride away. There were people beginning to watch our tiny exchange.

‘Malfoy,’ he grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. He said something to someone and closed the door.

‘What are you doing Potter? Are you completely stupid?’ I seethed.

‘Where have you been?’ he asked.

‘I do have a life, Potter. I like to go outside the house.’

He stepped closer. ‘I was worried,’ he said.

I would not cave.

‘Well I am perfectly fine as you can see. I would like to leave now.’ I moved.

He seized my arm and pulled me closer. I could smell him. Everywhere. Everything smelled like him.

I couldn’t breathe.

‘I didn’t see you for a week,’ he murmured.

‘So?’ I felt myself crumbling under his stare.

But I resisted then. ‘I want to _leave_ , Potter.’

‘Jesus, fine! Leave,’ he stepped away, annoyed.

I touched the door knob and once again lost my mind.

‘You can come tonight if you want,’ I said to the door and left.

I hoped he wouldn’t come.

I hoped he would.

If I would be a stronger man I wouldn’t say it.

If I would be strong I wouldn’t open the door that evening.

 

***  


Yes, I was weak. I still am.

I surrendered that night.

To him, to _myself_. To that ‘addiction’.

And it only went downhill from there.


End file.
